It's like she bought one bad life decision and got one free
Can you put "designated driver" on a resume?
I was so high i started crying when i saw how much puppychow was there.
We were in the shower and he sat down an wouldn't do anything. I'm so glad he manscapes. It made washing his balls less awkward.
she was stripping to whiskey lullaby. most depressed boner.
i'm behind the bar giving him a hand job. i need stuff to make my foot stop itching.
okay, this is where i needed to clarify that i was kidding before when i said that jizz helps mosquito bites. but let me know how that goes. for future reference.
I'm buying drugs in the library...And it's not even finals time. What has my life become?
Don't bother coming over to clean the mess. I already paid two kids 5 bucks for it, just didn't tell them you peed all over the place. You do owe me 5 bucks though
That's what I'm here for. To bitch slap you into believing in yourself.
I was a battlefield of empty bottles and bodies. We though we won, but the booze had the last laugh.
That's the fall semester you first snorted drugs off my ass I think
Whiskey and tits go great with anything. Especially fire.
You could see the bone sticking out of his shin and he insisted he was "just gunna walk it off"
Excuse me while I gouge out my eyes.
In which case my work here is done.
Can you pay somone's bail with a credit card or just cash? I feel like you would know this.
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