I wonder how skeet ulrich feels about the skeet skeet phrase and and what it denotes.
She's the only one so far who hasn't laughed at me naked.... I'm gonna marry her.
It was mandatory to shotgun a beer before we were allowed to eat dinner
2nd semester senior, always drunk. at this point if i don't get a good parking spot, i turn around and drive home
Sorry I didn't take you making out with him all night as a hint you wanted nothing to do with him...
so hungover ... i gave my nephew five bucks to go blow bubbles for an hour in the kitchen.
Note to self: last nights makeup does NOT, under ANY circumstances, look good today.
I hate that we are older than the real world people now
Sorry, I know you're at the airport but a gram of coke is missing so good luck with security!
Dude did I even see you at the bar. Cause I was for sure there then the next second apparently I was crying next to my Christmas tree because nobody believed in me.
You know that feeling when you wake up and your whole body just smells like a penis?
I just had to explain to a 5 year old why I had fuzzy handcuffs hidden in a macaroni box under my bed.
As a friend tho, you have the biggest dick I've ever seen
Good rule of thumb: only list personal references with whom you have hallucinated
Why does my nose taste spicy?
How do you know what your nose tastes like?
Randomize
