i threw up in a trash can last night at kellys irish times. but in a trash can because i'm a lady
that's just what I need...drunk ass people throwin hatchets in the dark.
I was so drunk last night i ate cereal with a fork.
i wanted to go smoke pot, so i told my mom i was getting tutored. she asked what time i would be back, i told her learning doesn't have a curfew
The cops are here to take me to jail, so I guess I have to go with them. If I'm not out by 6 p.m., there is some left-over lasagna in the fridge for you.
Well it's a moot point because I did have a sink & I peed in it.
We boned on a bench in a park, french people were walking by cheering us on. Totally acceptable
But here's the wonderful thing about us. It's us. You could invite me over, get really wasted and end up sleeping with someone else and id be there in the morning to take you to breakfast.
I swear she lies about being allergic to gluten so she'll get all the jack and not have to drink shitty beer like the rest of us
We were destined to go to rehab together
He snapchatted me his dick and he's circumcised....BRB going to hug his Mom
How can other people our age be acting like adults when I'm still taking my birth control pill with left over gin and tonic from the night before?
We have hung out 5 times and only had sex 3 of those times. I'd call that friendship
Family trip though. I generally don't wheel too much ass with the fam in tow. Despite the fact my parents would be pleased if I did.
so we have roughly decided that hes the dude all the chicks will bang in college, just so he will do their term papers
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