Omg. I just woke up in a room full of naked people
A freshman just woke up on our back pourch... He swears there was a party here last night but we didn't have one
The walk of shame is slightly more complicated when you wake up in the wrong country...
I wish I had my own personal Asian lady that lived under my bed so that she could wax my eyebrows and give me a pedicure whenever I wanted.
Just set all my clocks a minute apart. Now my 4:20 is longer by sixfold
he matches the description of mystery hookup #2, 4, and 7
You guys crashed sarahs vespa into a snowbank and its still there. not cool.
I'm totally wasted about to ride water slides. That's goddamn 'Merican. That and Clint Eastwood.
im actually so stoned and hungover i feel like a bag of jello stuffed into a human shape
Don't matter if she's straight, I'll get her. I'm not called The Transformer for nothing
Speaking of church, everyone showed up to lunch in the dining hall in their Sunday best and I walk in looking homeless bc I just got out of bed. I hate this school.
I hooked up with a guy named Quan.. I literally hit the Quan
he kissed both of us goodnight when we dropped him off...I didn't know if I was more offended or impressed
I just want you to know you're the worst sister ever.
If this is about me and your ex, it's not my fault she doesn't like men.
Lost and found: pink cotton underwear next to my bed and soaking wet Reebok socks or boxers in a plastic bag...in my fridge🤔
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