great time with ya sorry i wasn't one of the three guys you wanted to stay with
never have phone sex with a hardcore republican during this health care crisis . just dont.
Woke up with an epic boner today, the kind where you can spin books and shit on it. FYI: don't try spinning an encyclopedia
He was on Keeping Up with the Kardashians it was like a deed from god to bang him
She gained 35 lbs and has an ankle bracelet, time for new booty call.
I look like a zombie and smell like a stripper. Its gonna be a good day.
You might have to deal with a coked up ex pan American gold medalist wrestler when you get back to the room
There is a high possibility I will pass out with my hand in a bag of Doritos
Ultimate cock block. About to have sex and your mom calls you so you can go help your grandmother figure out how to vote for the voice on her iPad
You told his date she had the tits to be a stripper and the personality to be the pole. Of course he's pissed off.
walk of shame across osu's campus on game day. i can see all the spots i threw up last night. its like my personal yellow brick road.
You had all day to plan ahead & get mixers, so whose fault is this sobriety?
Haha do not judge my life style choices right now but me and Dj had sex twice and then he helped me pick an outfit out for my date
they told me that it was glow in the dark and would make me magical. I was too drunk to say no. I woke up to a purple vagina.
its like a neon Im stupid as fuck sign
Dude whoeverrs house this is has only creeam cheese and beer in the fridge. Thats my kinda diet
Randomize
