I fell asleep next to my cousin and woke up with my hand in her pants because i though it was lisa
he literally just asked me which v neck he should wear tomorrow.
I just realized i masturbated to the home shopping network. I either need to get a boyfriend asap, or a subscription to a porn website, or i just need to stop taking ambien
If my body was a temple, I pissed all over the front stairs last night..
The stripper had a daughter my age and offered to introduce us. I didn't know what to say to that.
i'm out of college. that means no more sex on a twin bed. ever. i don't care how big his dick was. i'm classy like that.
First off, get on bc solely in preperation for this event. Second, as my little sister you have a lot of whore to live up to.
The last time you said "no one will know" is when you ran out of sprite at your birthday party and dumped a handle of straight up vodka into the jungle juice.
There's a treasure map on your stomach. Treasure may or may not be the clothes you lost...enjoy
I fingered her though her window because she couldn't leave
Living in the dorms has served one purpose and one purpose only for me: to teach me that pooping in public bathrooms is okay and that I can do it
Me and some girl at the bar just high fived for not wearing bras
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
He put his number in my phone as Steve handsome
I might need to come puke in your toliet on the way home
Randomize
