I wasn't excited about it either, but if I was going to have her take a load on her face, role playing as some french dude is the least I could do
you made me watch la bamba, and then you yelled at me for disrespecting your mexican heritage.
Walked into a liquor store bleeding. That kind of night.
My broken door handle makes it really inconvient for when i need to puke at red lights.
The difference between you and me last night was that I didn't remember getting into the cab and you didnt know we were in one.
Your niece just basically announced she's a whore on FB so you should feel pretty good about officiating that wedding next month.
Totally shot down my boss for sex today. Approaching this weekend with a clear conscience and an untouched vagina.
It was like in the Christmas carol when the guy pulls his robe back and 2 small children appear... except this time it was a massive scrotum
The problem with having a roommate is that you are forced to answer the age old question "Are you okay?"
He has an accent when he types. I can *hear* the schnitzel. Especially when he's drunk.
First night of sleeping in the same bed, and she farted on me. I immediately excused myself and went home. Don't know if we're still together. Will update you.
He said his name was Tony, after last night I will refer to him as Tiny
whoa whoa whoa, you're saying I shouldn't post pics of you balls deep in a southern hottie?
Yeah we've been texting but I don't know how to just randomly throw in sooo the real reason this is happening is because i hear you're a drug dealer
How many times do I have to tell you I'm not bisexual.
.....unless there is alcohol involved
Randomize
