He looked like the mexican version of Steve Carrell with a unibrow.
It's fine actually... I'm pretty sure he had the crookedest weiner in the world anyway.
Like he had it hanging in the wind and you just decided, "nope, I don't think that one's for me." ????
God no! I could just feel it. His clock said it was 8:00 when, clearly, it should have been midnight.
Mental picture: Us at a bar keeping it classy shot gunning PBR's in the corner.
That was a good example of when keeping it real goes right
we banged on the home plate. i wasnt even aware of the significance of where we were until afterwards hahaha
I don't have the urge to be a home-wrecker with these two. I think I've grown, don't you?
You missed me roundhouse kicking a lit glow stick out of a guy's mouth last night. You would have been proud.
I have no idea, but there's a bus parked in front of my house and like 6 texts saying im gonna prove my love. this is either really really awesome or really really bad.
Well, I tried to shit into my refrigerator. It was a rough night.
i rearranged my furniture so i could masturbate in the sun. how's that for spring cleaning?
...I watched him run on the beach yesterday and I think I started ovulating
Apparently I had 2 bloody noses and after my sis put me to bed at the hotel, I escaped and my sister's friend found me in an elevator with some guy
How was your night?
I spent a lot of money and drank a lot of booze. Also was part of a successful search party
His boxer smelled like clean laundry while I was giving him head. It was delightful, like sucking a dick in a spring meadow.
Just had the biggest masturbatory crisis ever.
What does that mean?
Internet is down.
Give me the sexing that I truly desire and I will reveal to you the mysterious location of the PBR's
Randomize
