can we please move this conversation out of my vagina?
update: the house isnt on fire anymore, but he is still pissing on all your stuff.
the house was on fire??
shit I thought I told you.
I owe all of my success to double stuf oreos and weed.
your address is 607B right?
yeah why?
i need to tell the guy bringing over the flaming bag of dog shit where to put it
Just spent the last three hours in the library successfully refreshing facebook
filling out my bracket based on schools with ppl I've hooked up with
That big chick who gave you the handly polished off one of the walls to the ginger bread house right before she came outside. FYI
This is America. Thomas Jefferson would have said I want some vagina.
Someone somewhere has a picture of me vomiting in a bus stop trash can while a drag queen held my hair for me.
Pride claims another victim
walk of shamed to graduation. ending college with a bang....
Oh honey. I will not JUST be drunk. I will be spring break drunk. Spectacularly hammered. It will be glorious for all watching and embarrassing for anyone that has to drag me to bed.
You are a genius and a whore.
You know when your cat drags a dead bird into the the house as a present and drops it at your feet looking all pleased because it thinks you'll be pleased? That's what sex with him was like.
Dad literally changed the channel from an episode of Big Bang Theory to another episode of Big Bang Theory. That's why I hate this show.
He can sense you did cocaine and had park sex with a large ginger from Australia last night.
Randomize
