Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
then for some reason i googled "how much to buy a cannon"
remember when jerking off was fun and not a neccesity
No, seriously, 1.5 gallons of sangria plus two days of untapped cock. Waiting here. For you.
Somewhere at this very moment, a group of drunk white girls are singing dont stop believing.
She just fell in the river. Meet us downstream with the bottle.
I just realized that there are baby oil soaked hand prints on the wall over my bed. Last night was a good night.
ok thanks goodnight
Also before you go to bed i just have to get it out there that i really like macklemore as a person
I am slightly proud of the fact his mom turns on the dryer located behind the spare bedroom EVERY time we visit!
We were having sex in the gardens when the grounds keeper walked up on us. He gave me a thumbs up and walked away
The cat just walked up and made eye contact with me while I had sex. I'm going to have to burn the house down with him in it.
you just won the triple crown of sex! your prize is more sex.
My mom just busted me rolling a blunt on her bathroom counter. ...all she said was fuck it it's Christmas
he was wearing a widestriped red gingham suit jacket with complete sincerity im not surprised she beat the shit out of him
Is texting an old booty call with "can you still get your ankles behind your ears?" an appropriate way to reemerge into the singles scene???
Randomize
