Even if you were sober, spitters are STILL quitters, end of story.
I hope my theory books are in my locker, but if not, I guess I can always share with you.
Who said I want to share with you?
You've sucked my dick, I'm pretty sure you don't care if I look at your theory book.
There is so much to learn about oneself from autofill.
What hospital were we in last night? Insurance needs to know
I might never shower again without beer.. I might also always drink naked
It was only 12:11 and I needed to make a Pepto Latte and call it a night, I don't remember that being part of my new years resolution.
They got their marriage license when they were at the courthouse for her arraignment.
On a scale of one to america, how free are you this weekend?
I've just never had a dinner guest strut in, go directly to my bathroom, vomit.. then come out demanding whiskey and food.
Had to belly crawl across the floor to the toilet with my eyes closed to puke my life out without making my hangover worse. Three times.
I literally told her "she's a sandwich I'd like to make" and that's all it took
Just had a VERY VIVID visualization of wrapping a pizza around my cock and fucking its brains out. Soooooo less weed more dates?
What i love about my dog is i can lay in bed and masturbate with him at the foot, and he just leaves me alone.
He follows more cats on Instagram then he does girls.. That's how you know your boyfriend is whipped.
the sex got boring after the first three hours
holy shit
Randomize
