It feels like he gave my taint an indian burn.
We just spray painted his balls while he is passed out....I cant wait to see him try to figure this out in the morning.
I'm 2 blowjobs away from girlfriend status....don't tell me I don't know how to have an adult relationship
Pre-game strategy: play thunder by yourself in the shower. Surprisingly, success.
just got carried INTO the bar by 4 people. it's like watching my weekend in reverse.
He came over while I was in the ER and hung pictures of himself around my house.
Sorry really high. We have no lighter so we're lighting the bowl with rolled up paper towels lit by candle which also lit with a rolled up paper towel that we lit with the stove eye
Who would we be if we didn't go out to drink during finals week? NOBODY
best friends dont let best friends get an STD of the eyeball just saying
At one point I was giving him a handjob and I started singing Call Me Maybe
I just passed a truck with its bed lined with a tarp and filled with water with six dudes chilling in the back driving through campus. That looks fun.
Wors thing about having a cop dad: random drug testing
You know those twins i had a crush on in grade school? Just woke up between them. Best. Party. EVER.
Proudest moment of my life. Just watched a guy walk into the side of a car because I winked at him. Love these yoga pants and my hair. Fuck yes. His mouth was hanging open.
MY FUCKING CAT JUST GAVE BIRTH AND IM FUCKING STONED AND I FUCKING DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO!!!
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