The walk of shame is so much worse when you've spent the night third wheeling.
I didn't black out, the guy in the Men In Black costume erased my memory
I felt weird they were both staring at me waiting for the scoop on how your vagina felt.
It's sore actually
Hes sobering up now. He was just really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while he was telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together..
I went to a bar in my pajamas last night. I'll be there again tonight in a wolf costume.
RA chick in a Christmas onsie chased us up 5 flights of stairs. I need to stop violating guest policy
This whole bra on the outside of my shirt thing is so convenient. It turns my shirt into a pocket to eat Fritos out of. Mmm boobies
His parents know me as "the white shoed screamer"
She told me she's into girls now. I told her there would be a full bottle of jäger and an empty bed here Friday.
What the hell man, you basically stole my girlfriend with a bucket of KFC.
"Yeah because the first thing I think of when I hear the word college is tear gas."
he just ran into my room in his giant penis costume yelling "supercock to the rescue"... I am still in total shock
Are you seriously getting this frustrated over a hand-job right now?
can you come here so we can have really loud sex? the girl upstairs walks so loud i want her to know how it feels
of course
TJ is going to paint me in a Patriots Jersey he can paint you in an eagle jersey. Did this last year and got so much dick.
Randomize
