What should our trivia night team be named?
Define Statutory
I just realized I haven't had steady access to a woman's body since I was breastfeeding.
she was like a sexier Rosie O'Donnel
I am going to be the most sexually active ladybug that he has ever seen
my vagina's been through so much this weekend
you mean so much has been through your vagina this weekend?
thanks for leaving the note with the doctor's recommendations for my lip, they are dissolvable stitches right?
Christ, I really took the slutcake last night.
Wait. Someome brought slutcake?
I'm going out w/ her for her b-day in a bit. I just talked to one of her drunk friends on the phone who asked if I could "handle 7 lesbian." This could be interesting.
Okay now that I've been wanting to eat these hot cheetos in the bathroom, I know it's time I need to stop smoking and go to sleep.
Dude I'm riding a fucking tortoise this is awesome you should come with me more often
I'm just so happy. I go to sleep and when I wake up there will be chocolate milk and penis.
I'm sitting here bra-less eating jalepeno candied bacon. You know you want this.
Coming.
He sent me a picture of his dick as a snake, I'd say things are going great.
Why does your place smell like gin and misery?
I prefer to think of it as 'ode to single life'
Like I’ve seen him completely trashed and I’ve also seen him rip shirtsleeves off with his teeth and I can’t tell if I’m intrigued or not
Randomize
