dats a huuuuuge bitch!
who is this????
DOES ANYONE KNOW THE NINJA TURTLES
ok this is the part where i go up stairs and pass out incoherently untill 6 30 tommaorw morning and not rember any of this. love youuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu!
positive spin of the day: since my nose is blocked from allergies cleaning the puke this morning was much easier
A slipped finger up the butt isn't the end of the world
hey quick question, what would you consider to be a "first date" porn?
The night took a downhill turn when he started using a butter knife as a spoon to drink his cosmo
It took him three days to realize his roommate had moved out.
Jacob lost his virginity in a threesome. I am deffs fucking this kid.
DURING A THUNDERSTORM ON HIS BIRTHDAY.
It's sad that I'm more proud of my Twitter account then my resume
That's probably why white girls drink so much espresso. Piledriving coke and vodka crans takes a fucking toll man
I just watched will sing pure imagination from willy wonka and then blow a banana
I didn't even know we were hiding from the cops, I was just playing with the cats. People kept telling me to be quiet the cops are here and I was like DID YOU SEE THIS CAT!?
i'm bringing homemade birthday cake and homegrown weed. how awesome is this text?
Standing straight up with intensity he came in his own mouth. I know this because he showed me the video from five different angles when asked if I would like him to demonstrate. And I did.
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