You remember correctly you did get a golf cart ride out but it wasnt because you were special. You were so smashed you were screaming tiger at random golfers in the middle of there backswing.
She was so drunk yelling at me in my driveway to fuck her. It was the ghetto version of Romeo and Juliet.
Pretending to be straight requires way more energy than I'm willing to use in this heat.
I couldn't function. I was to the point where I was using a bottle cap as a monocle.
still using moms red Christmas cookie plate she sent to cut lines on. not sure I can return with a clear conscious
Please tell me there isn't another video of me on the toilet...
Sad Megan is Sad
Have you been drinking my beer?
The lady at Walgreens was all excited my pregnancy tests had a coupon.
I'm a sociology major remember
Well that and comm
Basically you majored in how to get laid
I hooked up with a British man... Wiz Khalifa has your bra... Couldn't have been a more successful night!
We had sex in the morning in pregnant lady position. Like fuck me like the hott piece of ass that I am, not your wife of 7 years.
I got a 5 dollar bill, 1 condom, and no alcohol. I get payed on Thursday. Let's do this shit.
GOOGLE HAS JUST RELEASED AN UPDATE THAT ALLOWS YOU TO CATCH POKEMON USING MAPS. Pack your shit, our time has COME.
I need to wear something that says I would have sex with you but I'm not going to
I woke up with my converse still on and a plate of pasta next to my face, if that gives you any indication of how my night went
Randomize
