I just saw on the news, this guy tried to smuggle coke in a bouquet of roses... and to think I used to hate valentines day.
Fail #1 I puked off the balcony onto the balcony below us and when I tried to pour water on it in the morning to wash it off it just went all over their deck. Sorry room 1342 but welcome to Jamaica
Oh the joys of strong arming a man into exclusivity
Still burping lighter fluid. Totally awful.
Yeah... I was considering changing that part but the boxed wine is non-negotiable.
Just took last nights make up off with a sock. That hungover.
Just promise me you wont die... or hook up with an old asian lady playing slots
Cant promise that last part. I won't die though
I think I'm still drunk...I just gave my empty conditioner bottle a break-up speech before I threw it away.
I'm gonna send you a dick pic now just so your uncomfortable at work
You can't just be this socially awkward and sexually frustrated and jealous as a fucking demon and be expected to stay sober.
And the view of you in reverse cowgirl is arguably the most spectacular view ever... And I've seen the Eiffle tower, the colosseum, mountains of Hawaii, Michaelangelo's David, and the Mona Goddamn Lisa. Just saying.
Worse. He's Mormon. At least a gay guy will go get drinks with me.
Had to admit my broken elbow was caused by vodka, not hockey
You look wasted in ALL of the pictures I just saw you in.
That can't be good for your liver!
Thanks for caring mom.
When I woke up I was spooning with a block of cheese. Like, cuddling. Me and the cheese we nestling...
Randomize
