Dating is not our generation's strong point. We're an era that's good at getting laid.
shes the kind of girl i dont like to talk to unless my penis is in her mouth.
Still workable. Pretty sure i told her i'd eat her out in the woods.
I love her so much that if I could have sex with her I wouldn't cuz my dick would feel out of place in such a perfect body/vagina
i walked in on him listening to enya, jacking off, and vomiting into a cup on his desk. are you serious.
new rule: cockblock me if I have had over a fifth of jack. no matter what.
Did you really end last night's sexting with "Stay thirsty my friend"?
I woke up at 3am, my head in a toilet, still at the kegger, wearing a random cowboy hat.
She wouldn't eat a clam- if you blow a line pregnant you can eat a clam
I was dreaming of a parallel reality and in the dream I just looked up at my present self and was like "you're high, man"
That's probably why white girls drink so much espresso. Piledriving coke and vodka crans takes a fucking toll man
You know it was a good night when visa fraud prevention services are calling
I remember walking into a bathroom stall that had a couple fucking in it and giving them a condom and a thumbs up and then leaving
You kept saying “keke” over and over so I slapped you then you proceeded to ask if I loved you. In case you’re wondering why you have a black eye - Lauren
I love Texas men! TSA agent found my vibrator, nodded approvingly, and said, “You have a nice night, ma’am” with a cowboy accent. I almost made out with him on the spot
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