The way white people respond to them, you'd think Journey was the president of Caucasia.
just saw way to many penises for it being 5 o'clock on a thursday
I just undressed him with my eyes. And gave him a 10 inch penis. I hope its true.
She gave me a foot massage while her friend rode me. Your gf puked into the oscolating fan. How were our nites alike?
I tried telling the cop that I don't do drugs, and that if he'd just take me home I could prove it by showing him my D.A.R.E. certificate.
I decided they need a food cart that just roams around the library like the cotton candy people at the circus. But with real food. like tacos cause it sounds delicious.
Her fortune said that she will soon be free. She's taking her bra off at the table.
"willing to pay anyone fun whos willing to hang out and laugh at my jokes while my friends are MIA" is this to desperate?
I have need of you to return home with haste, as I require the magical capsules you possess to relieve the posterior pain I am living. I battle this demon with stubborn grit, however I feel that defeat is on the horizon.
I gave his daughter swim lessons and in exchange he sold me an ounce. I feel so accomplished.
She started calling me daddy on the second date and I don't know how to react to that
I plan to try out my new vibrator and watch Star Trek: The Next Generation. It's a busy night.
Welp. It's confirmed. There is literally no lube on this entire island. Fuck me. More accurately, don't fuck me.
Hey.... can you explain to me why when I woke up this morning my cell phone background had been changed to me getting a piggy back ride from a drag queen?
Oh man I knew I took that Molly too soon, talkin to some Scottish people lol but don’t like rollin in pizza restaurants.
Randomize
