what made you think it was a good idea to trust the girl that hides tequila in her backpack?
this is the 21st century. you drunk fuck him and then go on a date.
You fed me milk from the beer bong because you thought it would "Sober you up" .
Hes warming up week old McDonalds french fries, putting hot sauce on them, and counting them with his shirt off.
The lid of our salsa is promoting a contest that ended in July '09
I awoke this morning to a naked boyfriend flying a remote controlled shark around his apartment. This is my life.
Overall win. We all know who got to sleep on the concrete outside of Denny's with you.
he just sat there, in the doorway of my dorm room, chuggin a fifth like nobodys buisness.. don't know whether to fuck him or be afraid of his confidence
If you need us, Zoe and I will be on my kitchen floor drinking Gatorade and crying
If we don't have crazy animal sex tonight at least twice, I'll know he's cheating on me.
Who wouldn't want crazy animal sex with you?!
A cheater.
His cat watched us the ENTIRE time. Every time I glanced over the poor kitty looked at me as if I were pelvic thrusting her father to death.
I feel like I hate him but his dick too bomb to hate completely
I almost forgot to feel shameful, if that answers your question.
Smargarita sloshedurday tomorrow around 2
Bring a helmet for your liver
I’M PUT OFF FROM FOOD RN BC EARLIER I GOT SOME WATER AND I WAS 4 SIPS IN WHEN I NOticed A FUCKING BURGER KING F R Y IN MY D R I N K
Randomize
