i don't like sucking hair
Damn. That makes sense
I know im like the sherlok holmes of sexual problems
Would it be too much if i wore depends to new moon so i dont miss any of it?
my cabbie only has one arm...this can't be safe
I just took my friends on a tour of all the places I've had sex in my house. I dont know if that's more slutty, or the fact that it took 2 hours to complete..
We need a plan...
Find random men. Use them as sexual objects. There's our plan.
surgery went fine. i cant breath out of my right nostril though. lets not eat peas anymore when we are drunk.
I just pull a splinter from the head of my penis. It was a rough night.
You never know, some chick could have a weird unibrow fetish.
You were a path of destruction, you started with eating half the cake, proceeded by throwing the rest in the sink and dumping water all over it while laughing... then throwing the drunk helmet across the room yelling that you didnt want to wear it... i'd say it was a successful birthday.
Want to get high and go thrifting? I'm trying to succeed making my dorm look like a deranged Applebees.
I may, or may not have licked his face in an Applebee's.
She's lucky her pussy is worth listening to her ramble about bedroom furniture for 30 minutes
He kept screaming "I am the thunder!" when he was riding me.
I just feel weird about accepting their wedding invite when I've got a post-engagement video on my phone of him jacking off in my bathroom.
Randomize
