dude, the building's fire alarm was going off for over an hour last night and you didn't move
that's ok, when I'm passed out drunk I'm impervious to flame
Is it too weird if im a sexy tampon for halloween?
so far i wrote 500 words for a paper on sean paul performing we be burnin..i can officially do anything on adderral
he drunkenly pissed himself on the deck, in the bathroom, and on my couch within the span of an hour
its like an avodart commercial...maybe he has a growing problem
I'm going to fuck him so hard that his dick is going to fracture
Glad to see your being a lady about this
We need somewhere to take these girls. Otherwise it's a orgy in the Mazda.
I'm making presurgery martini's. You need to be here.
she drove 3 hrs one way just to sleep with me. I felt bad complaining about paying for condoms.
Judging by the fact that he asked me if i wanted to serenade him using cocaine and Taylor Swift I'd say I so have it in the bag.
You described pouring milk in your strawberry cereal as a glittering magnificent water fall, skimming over the mountain and little strawberry citizens.
She's working this semester. Her dad saw he was listed as 'the atm' on her phone and cut off tuition for three months.
COME HERE AND I WILL SUCK YOUR COCK UNDER THE LIGHT OF THIS BEAUTIFUL ELECTRICITY
How do I convince my friend not to get tattoo tributes to her cats?
WHO DOES THAT
I told her it'd send up tons of red flags and she responded by telling me they're her babies. And she's sober.
You can't go around chasing people and screaming JUST LET ME LOVE YOU. We're in a public place.
There is a dude with blue hair and a samurai sword and another dude dressed as Dead Pool. I daresay standard social conventions are not applicable in this environment.
my face feels like mints and my body feels like tingles
Randomize