i thought he was 22...he said he was 25..he was 19...im 26..it doesnt count if you dont know right?
drinking steel reserve before noon and watching the price is right... 211... bet i pass out before then.
i woke up convinced that my room was backwards i tried to go into the closet to get outta my room
If I had a clone, I'd fuck it with a condom
I feel like I'm sitting in a sleigh of puddy. It's not a bathtub though because you need a sleigh to go down a mountain.
It went alright, nothing too special, just got threatened with a knife by our server.
Do you think I should still be the condom fairy for Halloween even though I'll be like.. Almost 8 months pregnant?
He used the panoramic camera on his iPhone to take a picture of his dick. And it actually filled it. Pretty sure I just came.
I screamed so bad because I thought he was going for my sandwich forgetting it was in my hand
Dilemas of the modern woman: deciding whether or not to write on your ex's wall for his birthday. This is serious.
It's like your nipple is comforting my nipple.
I found our waiter on grindr, gave him my number, and got him to send a dick pic. Still not getting laid but close enough?
I woke up in the basement of a pizza restaurant... I would say the tequila hit me pretty hard.
He changed the password on his Netflix account. The break up is official.
You -do- realize there are other things to talk about than just how different parts of you smell like pussy, right?
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