that's the ideal party shoe. cute, but i can still puke in them.
Just got walked in on during safety inspections
Think you passed?
No. untill you have done a puke that contains nothing but semen and tequila, you do not 'feel my pain'
Seriously. My exes act like they own shares of my vagina.
Well, in their defense, they have invested a lot of time and money
Isn't it statistically impossible for THAT many ugly people to be in one place at one time?
Because if the best sex I've ever had was with a gay guy, then God help me.
I just want you to sit on my face and to tell you you're pretty. Most girls would leap at this opportunity.
I kindof just wanted to go downstairs and let his dad know how good his son was at sex
I hope we all get so wasted that we ride the cows again
Fell down the metal stairs and some guy tried to fight me after you left. I fell asleep with cadbury eggs in my mouth too.
so my pro life roomate found a used condom wrapped up in her sheets with your panties. never letting you have sex in her bed again
Just wanted to let you know it's 3am and, at this point, I believe your sister has more of my semen in her than I do. So suck on that, fuckface.
So last night I turned down multiple drinks because "I didn't want to hold them". It's time reevaluate my decisions
At this point it's more of an experiment to see how much actual bush growth is possible. See, being single can be both educational and surprisingly comfy!
She thought I was dancing but I just couldn't catch my balance for 11 blocks.
Randomize
