I would dunk an oreo in her breast milk
Saw shirtless man with angel wing tramp stamp seen biking in my neighborhood. Considering moving.
I wasn't fucked. I was just drunk, because i was still able to walk into the woods and masterbate.
remember the good old days of high school when a half gal would last for more than a nite
i literally in my bathroom watching tv from across the hall while trying not to fall asleep with my dog keeping my feet warm. wednesday's shouldnt be like this
it makes it look bigger when i shave, i hope its not the same for a girl
Just bought a McDouble with a tightly rolled dollar. The lady just gave me a sad face...
He kept telling me that something was trying to enter this dimension from another universe through his spine...
You are literally throwing a tangerine right now. Beer pong is not played this way
Please tell your sister I apologize about saying her baby may have beef curtains. That was inappropriate.
ANIME MEN ARE MAKING ME QUESTION MY SEXUALITY AGAIN
At what point can I admit that I hate going to house parties?
I don't wanna stand in your shitty kitchen making small talk while I guard the quality booze I brought.
At one point in the night, as we were running from the cops, I clearly remember you yelling "little gnomes are tickling the insides of my body!" ...that high.
All I remember is talking the cops into calling us a cab instead of giving us PIs while trying to wake up your passed-out-on-a-bench ass.
When we were in Vegas he tried to get an Elvis impersonator to act dead on a toilet so he could take photos. This is even worse
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