Question for you. Are boobs and hands polarly charged, thus causing the inevitable joining of the two. If so are some breasts simply charged backwards
what do people who dont have blackberrys do while they poop?
they made me velveta mac and cheese and fish. I wanna stay here the rest of my life
just balanced a champagne glass on my gut. thanks to beer im a living breathing tempur-pedic mattress.
i knew it was time to leave the bar when i caught myself doing karate dance moves with a married man.
u r missing out we r watching a tranny direct traffic in a gstring
There is a hatefuck that has the destruction level of an atom bomb raging through my viens just aching to vaporize her.
I really want to fuck that guy in the full wind breaker suit
Dick sucking on arrival? or would you like to cash that in later?
You don't know being judged until its 7:30 in the morning and you're on 2 hours of sleep halfway between drunk and hungover wearing pajama pants at an international airport while saying how proud you are that you found the airport's bar immediately and how disappointed you are that it's closed
Btw, remind me to tell you about how I had to cancel my crazy wild sex plans with Will b/c my roommate came back from his trip after a day b/c Canada wouldn't let him in. Fucking cockblock.
Actually that's the whole story. You don't have to remind me.
I AM GETTING LAID TONIGHT YES HAPPY DAY PRAISE JESUS ALMIGHTY IN HEAVEN DEAR GOD CHRIST YES DADDY YAAASSS
So the bar crawl I'm on is a "90s bar crawl" and I made the joke about a few overweight girls that "lack of concern for your weight is so 90s" it did not end well
If God is analyzing my life right now extremely proud or dissapointed but either way I took wednesday night drinkin to new levels
She is beauty she is grace
she’s masturbsting in front of an open window while drunk af 9am
i thought you had class
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