Hi, this is ****, we hooked up a few weeks ago. I was wondering, do you have any STDs?
Dating a girl 4 years younger than you is like living in a Taylor Swift song...
Black Friday shoppers are ridiculous. I think I just watched a marriage end.
I just read the lonely terrorist on nwa had 40 more friends than me on facebook
I made a vision board specifically for the purpose of boning john mayer.
i need to know the scientific term for a guy's taint so i can explain what i did last night.
...just for future reference, one Four Loko can fits PERFECTLY in a venti iced coffee cup from Starbucks
He should get nipple rings. No homo...I actually don't think there is a way to make it non gay.
Yeah you should have just let that thought go.
He was twisted. Literally. It's like God took his dick with a pair of pliers and gave it a half twist to the left.
So your contact has been changed to "jizz weave" in my phone. Now, as strange and random as that may be, I'm slightly embarrassed to say that I have more than one contact that fits that description so please identify yourself.
We found him flat on his back, sobbing, 'fuck you stars' at the sky. No more everclear for Derek.
I woke up and my backpack was empty. He used me for sex, and back to school supplies.
One day I'm gonna have to send my roommate a "sorry I got high and forgot you were in the room and masturbated next to you" fruit basket
Can we both just take a day off just to have sex? Is that acceptable as an adult?
Just threw up in a cup driving down the road because there was cop behind me and I didn't want to pull over. Not sure if winning or failing at life.
Randomize
