just realized the sink is the perfect height to piss into never cleaning the toilet again
Dont you think its a little early in the relationship for sexting?
I'm starting therapy this week.. Taylor Swift music isn't cutting it for me anymore
we've been doin it since '07. it's like married sex now, were both comfortable so neither of us really tries anymore, we just do it because it's convenient
I don't know what's worse: going to the liquor store at 9am or knowing that its open at 9am
We left at the same time. You got home three hours after I did and said you got your head stuck in a fence. I can't believe you don't remember this.
You crawled everywhere and rolled in ice cream. No more vodka for a month.
You gotta start bringing a flask to work so you can get a head start
Possibly a very genius or very terrible idea...
WHY DO I KEEP FINDING CHICKEN THROUGHOUT THE HOUSE? GET YOUR ASS HOME NOW!
I totally just pulled my thong out of my purse at the grocery store. Oops.
IM ON THE WEIRD DRUGS AND I JUST SAW THAT TOM HARDY THING NOW I WANT TO HUMP
I've come to the conclusion, I should prob have at least 20 hr supervision. I would say 24, but I'm guaranteed to pass out for at least 4 hrs a day
wait. i have to tell u something. and it has nothing to do with dildos or spiders
thanks for supporting my whoreish tendencies
If I'm not there when the plane leaves, I didn't make it through security. See you at home! Vegas bitches!!!
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