wanna go halves on a baby?
I yelled "Coming in hot." before penetrating. Im pretty sure she loved it.
Dude idk, apparently telling two drunk chicks 'that's whats up' after watching them lick eachother's face wasn't the compliment they were looking for. I mean I was fucking hammered.
Wow.
I'm ready for this little girl to leave so I can hit the bong already
I can hear my liver begging me not to go out tonight
I just met the neighbor hes a self proclaimed coke dealer/ softporn producer.
i feel like this needs to be a 'lose some teeth' kind of weekend.
We didn't have a blender for the margaritas, so she tried to use the garbage disposal and wasted half a handle of my grandpa's good tequila.
Woke up fully clothed in bed sleeping on my purse.....we're back!!!
Why is there a video on my phone of us trying to snort a line of Reeces Pieces with you chanting "This is how fat girls party"?
You threw up on yourself mid conversation with your mom and then told her a girl at the party puked on you.
Besides he said his dick was as big as a loaf of bread and that it was broken. So I was like u have half a head of hair and a broken dick that looks like bread. No thanks. Im good.
I just got a girl to make out with me just by saying "get at me." Get at me
Are you missing a tooth after last night? Because I found one in my coat pocket...along with what smells like dried jäger and a package of deer jerky.
Uh not that I recall.
Oh wait nvm. It's mine. Yeup, definitely my tooth.
so you can go out and drink with me then fuck me, or you can come over when i get home and fuck me, or you can come over before and fuck me, or you can come over before and after and fuck me... so many fucking options
Randomize
