How fat would you say she has to be before I can consider this a threesome
my voice of reason is faarrr too drunk for me to listen.
he was wearing a tuxedo, i was naked...it's a long story.
Im about to have a threesome, Ill pay you twenty bucks to go clean my room. Just throw it all in the closet.
My dealer's mom died on christmas eve. Is it too soon to see if he's holding?
Hey did where's my bong?
In the tree out back .... Top branch on the right
Should I bother to ask?
Sounds good! I plan on writing a book entitled: I've Probably Done Cocaine In Your Bathroom. A tell-all by Lauren.
An outback commercial just played and I remembered that guy from Australia Imade out with at the Derby. Great Bachelorette Party, btw.
Needs to be more caveman. "Me kill roommate. You watch. Then sex time with our genitals."
We hooked up and then we watched game of thrones while he fed me chocolate. I don't see how our benafriendship is a bad thing.
I'm drunk eating a quesadilla while this kid is tryina come over and I'm just like no. I want the quesadilla.
By NOT going to the gym, I'm helping my future. I don't want stripping, prostitution, or porn to be viable money making options.
I specifically remember rubbing my eyes thinking I could definitely go blind and I really like came to terms with it I was like ok my other senses will develop this is fine
Also I just had a pointless meeting and the only thing I accomplished were my kegals
We walked into the RA's room and he said "is that alcohol" and I screamed "IT'S WATER" and ran out and Vanessa slammed the door and started making out with him.
Randomize
