so are u like ashamed lol?
not really. i dont look at it as being homeless. im just going to pretend im on an extended camping trip
You kept hiding marshmallows in the freezer saying "they would never think to look here"
i just ran into our bio chem professor at the bar. apparently, he doesn't follow the "no slapping your students' asses" rule.
cum and cheesecake for breakfast...don't fucking tell me pride week isn't awesome
I told him i wanted to be exclusively cheating with him
its a nice change of pace not blacking out and actually remembering getting laid
Bookstore boy and I went out, he came back here and I tried to fool around and he respects me too much blah blah I'm a predator.
I come back upstairs and she's leaning over sink full of vomit saying 'oh my god it's the chili'
He doesn't drink liquor so instead of doing a body shot off my belly button he dropped water in there and sipped it out with a straw. Look at my face: =|
Why did this happen to me why did I have to meet him if I could go back in time I never would have grabbed his dick
He just stopped me mid blow job so he could text his wife asking for TacoBell.
Do we have to do this party tonight? I'm worried my bed will miss me...
Is it weird that my mother is taking body shots off my gf after meeting once?
I called him my big strong man today. It's all downhill from here. Matching Christmas sweaters, here we come
The high school classes are online, not my sex life. He still comes over for “teacher / parent conferences.” A couple more “conferences” and I’ll be able to rewrite the Sex Ed curriculum
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