My professors need to stop cancelling class. Bad things happen when I have too much free time on my hands. Bad things.
hey, sorry about all the butter. I thought it was gonna help.
Things you owe me: a sober apology, $12, the removal of bbq sauce from my doorknob
To be honest i'm almost glad he got arrested. His girlfriend and i kept making out so i'm pretty sure the alternative was a threesome. Now we're just the trashy girls who visit him in jail.
I was barred out and drunk as fuck locked out at 3am in my Indian costume. It was literally freezing outside. I laid down on the concrete and made a bonfire with dry leaves. Then proceeded to ask.the.bonfire nicely to "please dont go out". Drunk me went strait up survival mode.
5am update: in a toga seeing triple made out with both sexes
I just gagged from thinking about the amount of tequila we will be drinking. DRUNK TUESDAYS
I learned so much about myself in that shower.
Posh spice and Baby spice both in one night. Fantasy complete. God bless halloween.
you walked in on him eating me out and screamed SHE'LL BREAK YOUR HEART BRO before body slamming on the ground and passing out on the floor
apparently my buddy was fucking on our couch downstairs so i decided it was necessary to walk downstairs naked in a hockey mask.
i have never been so sexually frustrated as I am right now. I feel like dying...is death an option?
If you buy me a steak I will make the extra effort to ride you. If not, I'm just gonna lay there.
His girlfriend left him for the pizza guy. I am not fucking kidding.
Eventually the conversation shifted (as it always does) to Sex toys.
Randomize
