He's a collector of sorts
Any cool stuff?
You should see the collection of booggers in the carpet next to his desk
Last night I got a napkin with 4 names & numbers: Katie, Ellen, Kylie...and Brandon.
so we told my parents we were going trick or treating. got high as shit at some playground. and then bought our own candy so we looked legit when we got home.
he stopped making out with me and said "can I make you grilled cheese? I feel like I owe YOU something"
I don't remember you taking the condom off last night. Did you just walk home in it ?
Lmao the neighbor heard yall last night She wanted me to tell you way to finish strong
you called me at 4 in the morning and invited me over for pasta and a late night viewing of titanic.
All i remember about last night is holding a bottle of bacardi and screaming challenge accepted!
Some guy just rode an office chair down my street, I hope he comes back so I can give him my number.
Cover your phone. Photos of streaking frat guys incoming.
YOU WOULD BE SEEING ME. IN MY KITCHEN. BENDING OVER MY OVEN. MAKING YOU CAKE.
Wait, that's an option?
Yeah when I texted her last night the only response I got was "stoned eating cobbler."
I've made a single handle of rum last like three weeks and my mom hasn't even acknowledged it.
You drunk? Cause I have a terrible idea...
How early is too early to start day drinking? Asking for a friend
About five minutes ago. You’re good now.
Randomize
