We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
i puked in the mini-firdge
we don't have a mini-fridge?
bought one. it ws too cheap to pass up. xcept now there's puke in it,,, but the freezer's fine so i feel pretty good about that
Whyyyyy do my fingers smell like Chinese food.
his status popped up and said 'probably going to jail.' it took everything i had not to press the like button
He threw a goldfish cracker into my toilet and then proceeded to laugh for 32 minutes. I timed it.
So...i'm having a drinking contest, my right hand vs my left, i have a feeling the 24 pack is gonna win
There is tupperware vodka. thats right tupperwares full of vodka. best leftovers ever
Things I love twice as much when drunk: Taco Bell. Office chairs that roll. Classes.
I just put up a picture on my dorm room wall of that ginger you hooked up with to remind myself that everyone makes mistakes
ITS DAYLIGHT SAVINGS TIME SUNDAY EVERYTHING IS GOING TO BE OK AFTER ALL
Nobody knows who the hobo or dude who whipped out his balls is
I bought left over pizza from a guy on Craigslist.
Please don't tell me that blonde guys name is Matthew I won't be able to fuck a guy with my brothers name
I'm topless, wearing a fur coat, stink of sex, and eating dim sum. 2015 is off to a great start.
So was it everything you dreamed it would be
I puked.
Twice.
So is that a yes?
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