im learning from these one night stands last time i came in her this time i came on her AND deleted every contact in her phone!
i was just singing like a virgin out loud my mom told me to stop kidding myself
he designed a suit out of pillows to protect himself when he fell.
engineering majors are such efficient drunks.
no, i'm currently making the trek across campus to get all my stuff from last night. My ID is in one guys bed, and my camera in another guy's bed.
Until last night, I had never actually thrown up ON a sandwich
I woke up and found 10 txts from him. All sent at 6:30 am, and all about the muffin man.
Dont eat ANYTHING off the floor at Matt's house. He likes floor sex.
Good. We don't answer calls at dick thirty.
after all you did bang a few mechanics. you must have got some second hand skills by now for building us a go kart.
he wouldnt let me in bed until i took off all the stickers i was covered in
Night one million where I have madri gra beads around my neck and no justifiable reason for where they came from
I apologize for there being a shopping cart in the living room. I don't know how why or where i got it.
I just lived through a real life episode of jersey shore.
if i had an alexa it would be saying “have sex with guys that don’t care about you”
i'll...probably just offer you drugs?
i'll...probably take them in all honesty
Randomize
