so im watching realhousewives of jersey with my mom. she just said they werent really rich bc they were doing their own makeup.
you flashed the cab driver so we didn't have to pay the fare and then you decided you were on a roll so you flashed the guy at the maccas drive through... safe to say your boob job was the best idea ever!!
My patience ran out after you started clapping at the strippers everytime they took off a piece of clothing.
we need to drink more beer. the fridge wont close.
Apple should advertise that their phones are puke-proof. They would appeal to a whole new audience.
Every concussion has its silver lining
dude Steve you don't even know. its just been one hairy asshole after another.
Never backflip into an above ground pool. I think the gash will be smaller by Monday though.
You just yell-acapella'd the theme to fresh prince of bel air to me while a different song is playing in the bar.
The ranger made you choose between a ticket and pouring all the beer out since it was a state park.
I've never seen you that close to tears as you poured out 30 beers.
I wanna fuck that hideous moustache right off your face. get the confetti ready for the festivities
And my coffee table looks like something out of Scarface
just yelled CURVEBALL at my nightie because it turned out to be a pair of shorts
Who knew sons of strippers would be really feminist boyfriends?
Blow Jobs and the Patriots Playing I think I’m going to marry her
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