i just googled "what is oprah really like?" how do YOU think my night is going?
We learned about herpes today in bio. I might as well have given the lecture
do you ever think like no deep thought could take place in the spanish language? like all they talk about is like tacos?
how high are you?
I just told a dude I hooked up with last night he was the pick of the litter.
No joke. Last we saw of him he was naked and dragging that stupid goat into the bushes.
I should do something nice for her. Like sign her up for "What Not To Wear."
used foursquare to find where i am. please come get me. this is the scariest bedroom ever.
Hello everyone will one of you please inform me on why I woke up in a cardboard recycle dumpster with no shirt and a stuffed animal? I want to hear this explanation.
Your godly.
. Drop what your doing. Were going to Knoxville for midget wrestling. It's the championship.we can NOT miss this.
I clipped one of my extensions in his hair to give him a rat tail. What is my life?
Woke up in the ER with a nurse holding my tongue together inside of my mouth and a shattered jaw, the last thing I remember is opening the 151, care to fill me in?
He made me cum via FaceTime, then he made me look at his stock investment charts..
while on the topic of showers...why is there apple juice in our bathtub?
My horoscope should say: you're an alcoholic, get help today, Pisces
I watched my wife kick balloons while wearing thigh highs. It's not a sentence you get to use too often
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