Your dad touched me again.
Motorboating on a tuesday night. not too shabby....
he was sending me dirty texts but i was watchin nickeloden and couldnt get into it
im ashamed your my cousin
ok, his religious views on facebook are madonna lyrics. we no longer have to wonder about his sexuality.
well after he sqeezed a zit off his forearm i got the hell outta there
coulda been worse. everyone in the drunk tank got free mcdonalds breakfast
We really need to check into harvesting part of our liver now
He bought you footie pajamas. Shit's pretty serious.
Had a guy offer me a shot. But he wimped out when I asked for tequila and instead ordered gummi bear shots. I don't think he has balls. I didn't stick around to find out.
Martha Stewart has had a one night stand and is unsure if she's had a threesome. I no longer feel slutty.
I'm currently trying to figure out a way to fill the bathtub up with mashed potatoes so when he comes over he'll know what's about to hit him..
I don't know man. She said my cock made her promises my heart couldn't fulfill.
I'm supposed to be at work in 10 min, I just woke up and am 45 min away...tinder for the win
Talked to the dude for a hour . I now know where he lives, his occupation, his goals, his dreams and what his dick looks like.
Been there. Done that. Still have his t-shirt.
Randomize
