Segways are the fanny packs of transportation. Useful in some situations, but you always look like a tool when using one.
That's not ass to mouth..... That a rim job!! Are you telling me she licked your asshole?!
im walking the streets of bville with a bag of cat food..looking for my car. i dont ever want to turn 21 again.
I'm not sure what's more surprising, the fact that she said I reminded her of Danny Devito, or the fact that it got me laid.
After all you put him through, I think it was only right that you saluted the bartender when you left.
apparently my insurance doesn't cover road head. Bummer.
The doctor said 'youre the 2nd youngest person that ive seen with this condition. Thats probably not the silver medal you were looking for today.'
I knew we would be good together when you made me lick jameson off your boob while you screamed along with racks on racks
He told me he loved me and then asked if we could have sex in the snow
im currently assessing the tequila situation in preparation of your arrival
I had a dream about a vibrator with 42 different settings. If that's not a good indication I need to get laid, I don't know what is
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
They're magnificent. It's like god made her last but hadn't fulfilled his boob quota.
She's takin more dicks this month than I have in my life by the sounds of it
You kept singing "your gonna lose that girl" to him right in front of her.. of course you got punched in the face.
Randomize
