Yes. UR adorable in a weird way.
How was Slumdog? Did it pull your heartstrings?
It was entertaining. Better than most other Mexican films.
She left me with blue balls so I jerked off on her french toast in the morning.
Are you pooping in the stall next to me?
Maybe....
Cause I just heard a fart and it sounded like one of your farts.
So about class tomorrow..... i,ll be there. But I may be still a bit drink and wearing a suit. I'll explain when I get there.
I know I'm all grown up when I don't have to take my pregnancy test in the store bathroom anymore.
Hes stumbling drunkenly around the streets of New York with a balloon vagina on his head. I'd say hes having a good night.
I'm lost. Please come find me. I'm inside the I-270 circle somewhere. I can hear laughing.
Please. Last time I saw him I awkwardly pulled his rat tail until it got too weird
Mystery solved. Def had ice creme last night. There is a melted half eaten ice creme bar next to the bed. Which had melted onto my pillow. That explains why it was in my hair too. Im a fucking sherlock holmes over here.
Sunday is the day of rest.
As in, whatever liquor is left after last night, you have to drink the rest.
its like a catch 22, sucks that you've stopped, but its like a vagina high five
Ugh I feel like I just got hit by a big giant sex bus.
Seriously my new passion in life is the girth of his penis
There is eyeliner on my toilet. Vodka and I have a love hate relationship.
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