he conducted the entire waffle house into singing the song Oklahoma. He was wasted.
the cops didnt even wait to start drinking the confiscated alchohol from the party
Cop gave me a ticket for public drunkedness, and then I convinced him to drive me back to the party
Can we please not be like these pathetic people in their thirties who only get drunk when they go see Sherrill Crow?
I can't make Walk of Shame Wednesdays a recurring theme.
you made them have somersault races with you thru the lobby..
I said I usually like going out for coffee before torturing someone's genitals. He said he understood.
Exactly. Some of us want to get married. And some of us want to wear sombreros and do cocaine. To each their own.
She said I'm so hungry I could eat a dick and winked at me
Fuck. I have to get my shit together by lunch. Mission impossible.
Right now Tom has the 2nd floor office bathroom under siege. He shit/clogged one toilet, and he's throwing up in the sink.
I just found your ripped underwear on my chandelier. Care to explain?
Are you vicariously golddigging through me?!
Partying with my eighth grade history teacher I know you're jealous
I’m excited to finally meet my stalkee and his penis!
Randomize
