I just filled out my 2010 Census drunkenly. I'm single handedly throwing it off.
new level of vanity: sex dreams about deep throating myself...
All I'm saying is that whoever owned the wheelchair clearly didn't need it or they wouldn't have been able to leave it there
please stop yelling "ITS NARNIAAAAAAAAA" out of our window at the lone person walking home in the snow
My goal of the day is to not shit myself. That's it. Setting the bar real low
It smells like someone died in our apartment and ya'll used some random orifice of his body to smoke weed out of. Side note, how did we get a guitar?
not much sitting here stoned eating my little sisters halloween candy and judging each individual hersheys candy bar and after much deliberation by the selection committee the original hersheys chocolate bar won
Dude I was taking a shower and I kept looking down at the drain expecting Mario to come up, yell "It's a me, Mario!", tickle my balls, and go back down the drain.
At least is you came to Milwaukee to visit me you'd get the best mind blowing sex of your life and free wifi. Who doesn't want free wifi!
Get his dick out of your ass and put on some pants we're here
holy shit I just remembered that story I told about Tom hanks going bowling while high.
Just caught myself trying to make grilled cheese with the stove off. I think my dad knows I'm high.
I said I hate kids.This dude said he will sell his children to go on a date with me.
If she didn't block me, she would have known that I sneezed on her toothbrush.
I was stuffing my face while buying a brownie and coffee and some kid I fucked came up behind me and said. Someone's hungry.
Randomize
