just by requesting 'I think we're alone now', not only did you achieve emptying the bar, but you also rubbed it in the owners face.
I can't finish this paper in my room because every time I get distracted I start masterbating. I think it's time to go to the library...
How do you set tits on fire ? I swear her tits were on fire.
Last time we were that stoned we made a "everything you can fit in the blender" shake. Didn't end well..
It's not like I'm never gonna put out again. I'm a sure thing. I promise.
3 things I learned last night: 1.) I'm not as light as I used to be. 2.) Sex on the roof of a convertible is a really bad idea. 3.) The hospital now has super glue pens for sealing minor cuts instead of stitches!
Wow, im gonna be a great doctor..."hi let me save your life but first check out this pic of me deep throating a handle of grey goose"
Maybe I'm just didn't notice and imagined a different penis as a Freudian coping mechanism?
Apparently drinking in your car before going into a sales meeting is frowned upon. We are car sales men not doctors.
These girls just walked into this party as reverse cowgirls... Wearing cowboy clothes all backwards
When we were all out of beer you took a bite out of the cardboard beer box and said "close enough."
I woke up at 5am to tell him I wanted to take his dick on la Tour de France, I might need a nap later
But lunch with my dad really just means an hour and a half of him telling me how he's disappointed and how he knows I'm on drugs
I'd climb him like a horny MILF spider monkey.
When do you think the murder is going to happen in this Lifetime movie of ours?
Randomize
