So drunk can't even tell it's my own house. WOaoOw.
Today's dinner table topic: the probablity of my dad turning gay if he ever left my mom.
I saw you eating fruit and doing shots off people passed out
I have a meeting at work in an hour, I'm so hungover going outside is NOT happening there are roads and shit I'll totally get myself killed.
I heard liver failure is in for 2012 anyways
Omfg amy I'm not kidding you I think a blow job is what landed me in the hospital
my binge eating and her being stoned all the time has reduced us to a bowl of chinese candies, frozen bacon and a stick of butter, we do however have enough alcohol to start our own liquor store.
You know you are 86'd from the legacy right? You can't down shots then spike the shot glass
I fucked R2D2 last night. I consider Star Wars day a success.
He's getting so into these sexts, I hate to tell him I'm fully clothes, watching Bring It On and eating chips and salsa.
The sex definitely would have been a perk. But not sitting in a ditch was what I was going for...
Need advice bro. Which one should I take: the blonde devil crying in the corner or the brunette crawling on the floor acting like a dinosaur??
Lost and found: pink cotton underwear next to my bed and soaking wet Reebok socks or boxers in a plastic bag...in my fridge🤔
welp,tonight ive reached new levels. by new levels I mean,i showed some guys my boobs for water. on your tab.. the most pointless thing ive ever done. either we should hang out way more,or never again.
So then edible panties?
Jesus no he likes candy too much, I'd lose a lip
Randomize
