Do you remember last night at all? Be honest
I need to look at the pictures on my camera to fill in the gaps.
i can barely afford taco bell don't think a baby is in the budget
He told me he wouldn't do any drunk sluts but me. I guess that's sort of a compliment...?
i have this gut feeling friday is going to be interesting.\nAnd by interesting I mean I feel like im going to get punched in the face by his girlfriend.
so the photographer said "let's get a picture of the cousins" so we posed together, and then he said " lets get a picture of the couples" So we posed together.
I cant believe im wasting my plan b experience on this guy. I should have saved it for someone special.
As i was laying there shouting that he dislocated my hip he actually reached his armed around and patted himself on the back
He's tweaking out . If he's on fucking bathsalts and eats my face like a chalupa pull the plug. I don't want to live with no fucking face. Pull. The. Plug.
A cute girl just told me she forgot to take her birth control and winked... I've never been so conflicted about fleeing in terror
Listen, if I miss the flight to Vegas because she's still rimming my ass, it will have been worth it.
Pretty sure I just scored Election Day sex based on the theory that if either of these fools win the world as we know it is over so we might as well get a few orgasms in...
You sluts I'm so proud of you. You're both wearing underwear.
Just finished 151. Eating nutella off a spoon. Bring condoms.
You are currently doing Harry Potter spells with the turkey-baster...
It's beautiful. It's what jesusxwants. I should send you a pic of my boobs out of friendship
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