You were partners with her mom and you began calling her "the Robert Horry of beer pong" You also kept telling her that she was hotter than her daughter.
I just hope this isn't happening Final Destination style
Travis Barker would totally be Devon Sawa in this scenario
You get to witness red pubes. I'm almost jealous. That's like my dream.
I just realized I have yet to puke in your new apartment. Clearly we're doing something wrong. On my way over with Cuervo as I type.
yeah people on the adjacent balcony, Im naked drinking outside in 0 degree weather at 1pm. got a problem?
I'm surprised I haven't crapped out a leprechaun, I'm so hungover
I was looking threw the photos on my phone. There is 8 different ones of us peeing on things.
Those drunk pictures you took of me? My mom is showing those to my grandparents.
He got me a cake that said " Congratulations on the dick "
And the sky opened up and god said.... "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!!!!"
So my ex vomited in front of my door and passed out there
I just drunkenly signed my mortgage application...
Is this how the global financial crisis happened?
Also epiphany: I gotta quit fucking with dudes that have never seen Harry Potter. They all turn out to be shitheads who probably eat honeydew.
he had a bulletproof vest and a pocket full of lollipops! how was i suppose to say no.
I think she lost me at about the point where the words “Ice Cream Enema” were spoken.
Randomize
