Ok, honestly? Periods can't be THAT bad, have you ever tried to shave a ball sack?!
is this the sara with the beer cane?
I may be in pain from falling off the roof but getting to the morning roof keg was well worth it.
Just call Katie. She's like the drunk whisperer; she can get them to do anything.
Bring scissors.....i think im gonna have to be cut out of this damn jockstrap
Some girl is sitting topless in the kitchen and having a Skype video chat with some guy. I already like it here.
Easy. Go to walmart, buy a bag of charcoal. everyone gets a present and it's cheap.
He said he wanted to lick the breadcrumbs off my chest
You've changed since you got that strap on
I have to make calls today at work. So I'm gonna call your phone and leave some random messages. Just delete them.
I looked into this "it's just lunch" matchmaker thing and it was like 5 grand. If I'm gonna spend five grand I'll throw in another three and get new tits and find my own fucking husband.
I wish I could be the kind of drunk Bobbi is... She stumbles around outside at 4am with a broken high heel and babbling about rainbows and getting dick...
Hmmm, well all I'm saying is don't do anything too irrational because you miss him and are blinded by his large penis.
There's a guy in a plaid shirt running around asking everyone if they want to head butt him
I just shaved my legs via the sink as to not wake my parents up because I know I'll be having marathon sex tomorrow after my certification exam... so this is life after college.
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