i just had sex bonerless
I was up until 12:30 making that damned grammar test for my freshmen then I caught myself running through the verb tenses when I was giving him head.
"I have sucked, I will suck, I will have suck, I am sucking..." I've never felt more like a nerdier slut than last night.
How do I introduce myself to her without coming off as "the guy who jacks-off to her profile pic"?
I didn't sleep with her. I'm boycotting arizona and she's from phoenix.
id like to point out that while i was just peeing a condom fell out of my vag.
It's confirmed I did eat a ping pong ball last night...
May or may not be going home with my jamitor. i'm kiddong, btw, i have no idea. i'll let you know soooon.
if memory serves, the guy you were hooking up with said he was a slutty skittle.
We got signed out of jail by an Uber driver. I think that qualifies as a great first night of college
My concern for you and peanut butter is the reason I am still awake.
He lives 20 minutes away driving distance and decided to walk. I talked to him today and he took a nap along the way... In a cemetery.
He went down on me while i ate a whole 7/11 pizza. New level unlocked
This might be the worst thing you've ever done.
Really? I feel like I've done worse. Guess I gotta step my game up.
Did you see her happy birthday to emily on facebook? The gist of it is like: hey emily you almost died at birth im glad you didn't. love mom.
dude i haven't had a solid dump since sunday and i still cant hear out of my right ear
Randomize
