he thinks he's going to hurt your feelings
He can't hurt my feelings
I don't have feelings.
you ran down to the water at 3am and rolled in the sand and ran around screaming that you were the corn dog monster.
They just came out of my bathroom and asked if I could spare them a condom. See. Its a good thing I have some.
i just remember sitting on this bed, naked, STILL WITH A CONDOM ON, and suddenly these random girls were in the room shouting at me
Did they have a limo or was i just stoned?
Registered sex offender is the model in class today.... There are too many things wrong with him getting naked in front of a lot of college students.
Why do you have to go to the hospital?
I gotta apologize to a male nurse who's tryin to press assault charges on me
Romantically speaking, I want to sit on his face.
BUT I think maybe Thursday in celebration of America we should probably tan and see how fast we can finish everything in the liquor cabinet.
No you don't understand. This tree is really alive. Like in Pocahontas.
You know you had a good time when you get the wheelchair treatment in Mexico back to your cruise.
She had sex with a starfish painted on her face. Thank you Halloween
I just hip-checked Santa and stole his cab.
I felt like I was having sex with Joffrey from Game of Thrones. Needless to say how bad it was
I'm bringing home frosties. I need to talk about butt stuff.
Randomize
