whats up tonight?
Ice cream, wine, and teabags... Not the earl grey kind
Do you still like to have your hair pulled?
No, I never liked having my hair pulled. I think you have me confused.
i wish you could fill a pinata with booze
Now would be a great time to stop wondering " Who let the dogs out" and go to sleep
just left a line of flour and citric acid on the dresser for my roommate to find. teach that bastard to steal my coke!
Preparing for thanksgiving at home now by chugging bourbon. Less than a month to train!
His apology was sex and a subway sandwich. Strangely, I'm okay with that.
My ex was here I looked him in the eyes when I grabbed some other guy by his belt and dragged him to a room
Hahah fuck. I keep looking to make sure that stupid line doesn't show up when my guards are down. Babies can sense fear.
Watch out, there's a giant vagina in the quad running around screaming at people.
we could do so many fantastic illegal things together. sexually and otherwise.
Less adorably, the dog stared me down, yelping, while I gave him a morning blowie.
okay yeah but you've seen me eat jambalaya naked
I can't even be mad at customs in houstons airport anymore for missing my flight and having to stay overnight. Within an hour of meeting we did it at her place. Her last word being "glad I could show you real southern hospitality". I'm definitely coming back here someday
Rich men love me! I remind them of their trophy wife!!!
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