I just saw a pregnant woman with a cigarette and a beer walking into the Larry the Cable Guy show. I'm glad my taxes are paying her medical expenses.
she looks like stephen colbert with that blond wig he was wearing last night.
dude last night I threw my weed into my back yard. there is now a foot of snow. after an hour I found my weed. if I put that effort into school, i'd have a 4.0.
My main thought on the Olympics: I need LESS cowbell.
All I heard was "You have collect call from Lafayette Parish Jail for Dude it was awesome! I'll tell you about it later!"
Don't blame the cocaine for your eating disorder.
Dude she threw his clothes out n 8th floor window and her dog tried to bite his dick off. So the answer is yes it could be worse...
Hahhaha I literally just rolled outta bed and went to get beer in my pj's and slippers. God I love graduating
A man pulled out his penis last night and when I said I wouldn't touch it, he said, "that's fine it just needs to breathe".
he doesn't even text me anymore.. he just facebook chats me a shark emoticon which has turned into code for 'be naked at my house in 15 mins'
I will have you know I turned Latino David Arquette down for sex because he's married. Total. Moral. Victory.
Flo's in town, ain't she.
Is it completely inappropriate to base my morning after pill purchase on if they sell coffee or not?
Apparently this establishment won't let you rent a sailboat if you have been drinking rum all morning
Like, bro, how do you think I got the idea to go sailing
For real his Facebook page says he studied "sexual arts" at some random college I've never heard of. You've been warned.
What the fuck were you guys talking about?
Lube wrestling.
Oh, makes sense.
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