fyi, take the long route to the library. the "can i be your baby daddy?" homeless man migrated back for winter
When we woke up, I asked if we could play "what does your name rhyme with".....he said 'bave' thank god it was easy
she said, and i quote, "i want to black out with my rack out"
i finally watched harry potter... a tad unrealistic if you ask me... i mean a ginger kid with 2 friends?
I said i love rain, just to change the subject, and he said 'id like to do it in the rain'. Dear lord. He doesnt stop
How many folks do you know who bring coke to a dinner party. Seriously.
I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser.
Finding out he was uncircumcised by feeling his foreskin in my mouth was NOT ideal. New rule. Lights ALWAYS on.
Do you think I should still be the condom fairy for Halloween even though I'll be like.. Almost 8 months pregnant?
Remember don't think of it as being an alcoholic until something bad happens.
Think of it as Mythbusters for people who say you're going to get arrested or die
I wasn't a groupie because I didn't carry his guitar home
I've got the dick your vagina needs, but not the one it deserves right now.
I tell you, MacGyver never had to put up with people shitting themselves while he worked...
At a point I was just cumming dust last night
Simple revenge plan: break into his house and steal one shoe of every pair
Randomize
