Two girls are doing the worm relatively well on the bar floor after the fact I just saw one puke in the trash
i think i scared a bird with my dick
Dude, we took our shirts off and set our chest hair on fire. That's a low point.
You raise a valid concern
Do you recall us playing flip cup on your head?
Dude, I went home and roller-bladed into her bedroom so I didn't have a 'walk' or shame in the morning..I wouldn't talk to her unless she refereed to me as Brink
I'm at about main and main street
All I want to do is fuck in the bell tower before it leave this school. Is that too much to ask?
I don't give a damn about what he wants to do with his life. Personalities are for pussies.
Oh shit I just realized the ropes are still tied to the bedposts
No she left bc the of pic I have of my mom in my bathroom. She thought it was my gf
Why the hell do you have a picture of YOUR MOM in your bathroom?!?!
Well we did eat French fries lady-and-the-tramp style last night...
She used my 100 Ways To Cope With Stress handout to wipe puke off her face
You both snapchatted me that. Like, I just got a double dose of penis pastry.
How many times have you told me to call 911 this week?
Lol twice
hey, just so we're clear, next time we go swimming drunk at my house, we have to use the floating chairs instead of my mattress. i'm not sure how to get it out of the pool.
Randomize
