We made a percocet pizza. And then i made an unfortunate decision.
She sang Bad Romance to me. Not really the answer I was looking for.
It took him longer to remove his skinny jeans than it did for him to finish. I didn't even have time to realize it sucked until it was already over.
idk if you're aware of this...but we could potentially have the greatest hate sex...ever.
Where can I buy a trophy for a Groupie Award?
She had sex with a merch guy. . . band guys make you groupies, Merch guys just means she's easy.
did u get his digits?
yes his name is chazbangbangbang according to my phone...
he swears he got herpes from a bowl of soup
could you clean the juice and feathers off my bed I'm just not up for hangover cleaning.
The blackout version of me left a ransom note to the sober self. Somebody needs to control that guy
At some point, it turned less into sparring and more into tough guy dry humping.
I'm FaceTiming Pizza Hut.
There is maybe 10 hours out of any given day we aren't sober.
New Serial podcast is out. We can listen to it tonight instead of having sex.
Drunk me is basically the Oprah of nudes. Everyone gets one.
You asked me how red your eyes were... they were shut.
Randomize
