Skipping work because i'm still too drunk from last night still. got home at midnight and passed out in front of my door for 2 hours bc i couldn't find my key
had to call my rooommate to let us in. Passed out in my dress and found the key on my hair tie-in my hair- just now.
Girls gone wild is like the hills, except sexy and it doesnt suck
i just fell asleep at my computer and i woke up and in the google bar it said delicious foods to eat
I swear I have "I love assholes" written on my forehead with ink that only guys can see.
I though she ruined it by crying, then I realized it wasn’t a tear, it was my great aim. It turned out to be beautiful.
i figure i've seen his cum stains on the floor, i'm allowed to say these things.
I need input, can I pre-game my cat scan?
They were taking shots out of the caps of perfume bottles. This is too much for me.
I'm drunk off vodka and I haven't eaten today. I've never felt more like Kirsten Cohen in my life.
He's going to be my graduation present to myself.
In light of this week's heat-wave, we are having a house vote tonight on the temporary suspension of the "no smoking indoors" clause. Please bring your voting cards to the living room at 6:30pm
Point of Clarification: by "voting card" we mean a full beer and/or shots
We almost ended up sober because of u!!
Bacon and your penis are involved. Of course I'm going over.
we f'd six times
f'd?
its sunday, i cant say fucked
I peed on his bed and he still likes me. #keeper
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