just by requesting 'I think we're alone now', not only did you achieve emptying the bar, but you also rubbed it in the owners face.
Listen: if you or anyone else at work finds a starfish in a bowl, just leave it. It'll be gone by next week.
Better yet, if you find it can you put it in the mini-fridge in your office for safe keeping? Spanks.
And if it's going to get me in trouble, maybe just don't mention that I know anything about it.
and thats when we got a drunken mammogram in the middle of cvs pharmacy
You know how hard it is to jerk off in a bathtub with a dog staring at you?
So we have also come to the conclusion that slam piece Saturday's are the appropriate follow ups to find a husband Fridays
Baked and hanging out with Al from Home Improvement's son. You can't make this shit up. Tuh-rippin balls
I ate all his french fries. He was no longer useful to me.
I call BS on that! THAT WAS TOTALLY AN INTERCEPTION. JENNINGS HAD THAT.
PEOPLE ARE FLIPPING FURNITURE HERE. IN THE ROOM ABOVE ME. I HEARD SOMEONE WOOKIE CALL IN ANGER FROM SOMEWHERE IN THIS BUILDING.
I'd be lying if I said I wasn't scared, even a little.
Correction... Drunk on winter break. There are no days of the week on break.
He just snapchatted me a picture of his cock. The angle makes it look like a freakin skyscraper. Thinking of photoshopping a little monkey on it.
I'm about 95% it's a collapsed lung. Go big right?
Seriously can I go through one convo where masturbating doesn't come up
the reason i can drink whatever i want and you have a limit is because whiskey will never make my pussy not work
2016 is coming through for me, I'm renaming it the year of great dick
THERE IS A DOG IN THE CLUB. I repeat a dog in the club. I might have laid down and petted it..I have no shame.
Randomize