I'm watching a show called "I didn't know I was pregnant" on TLC...Apparently this happens enough that there is a series
So J keeps drinking his last bit of drink, then spitting it out and drinks it again. Savor the flavor?
I just spilled my beer all over my laptop.. this is what i get for actually trying to do homework
You remember those guys we called the police on after they stole our keg? Turns out one of them is a student instructor in one of my classes. Figuring out how best to use this information.
He just reenacted his orgasm in front of my roommates....using a squeeze bottle of mayonnaise.
Sorry I fell asleep again. I'm in the shower now. Door is unlocked. Condoms are in my desk. I want your game face on for when I get out.
She just rubbed her face all over pool chalk. I feel like it's time to go
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call
Did I mention I should never take 5 Xanax and drink?
I sort of figured that out when I found you sitting on the roof of your house saying we could get in through the skylight while I called the locksmith.
I just want a guy that likes cats and is willing to get a vasectomy. IS THAT SO MUCH TO ASK?!
He drunk dialed me at 2am asking if he could put a baby in me.
Sorry it's taking so long, it's harder to take an ass pic with an iPad than you think
i almost threw up on his dick. its like icarus, flew too close to the sun. except the sun is his dick and my throat was icarus
I didn't want to leave, I wanted to move into his ass
This is either going to be a hilarious catfish or the fuck trophy of the century.
Randomize
