If my boyfriend wants to eat his own jizz after masturbating, what does that make him?
I plan on offering nudes to any guy that wants to give me notes from the past five weeks of class
his dick got so hard in his pants and it broke his zipper
It's been two weeks and I still have carpet burns on my knees. Well done.
wanna tell me why theres a glass of water stuffed with tamptons in the freezer?
Just checked my voicemails on the work phone on speaker. Thank you so much for the one of you screaming "COME FUCK ME NOWWWW!" my boss loved it ..
The only thing I'm asking santa for is my period.
And vodka?
And vodka.
The drug dealer had chickens in his house so I know it was good stuff.
I thought it was improvement but then i realized sex isn't an emotion and I hate everyone
Did I just hear you ask Siri about the meaning of life?
He was leaving the restaurant I was going to as I was parking. I didn't want to scream, "hey, didn't I jerk you off?" Out of my window at 10 am
Waking up with cheese all over my clothes and my vibrator in my pants is a sign we drank way too much tequila last night
your penis is a great and majestic leader among the penises.
We've had gay sex and pie, the holiday season has officially begun.
spent the night holding naked strippers up for keg stands and doing endless amounts of body shots. good game 8am final exam.
whats an extra semester when you've already been in college for 6 years?
Randomize
