we were exchanging secrets last night... she told me about how she put markers in her vaj in middle school. found a keeper.
Can you please tell me why there's a bottle of urine on my night stand with a note that says "in case you're thirsty in the morning"? Thanks.
I wish there was a facebook app that filtered my notifications to show only the ones having to do with people who'll fuck me.
I'd be a gr8 surrogate. I'm gonna love your fetus
I feel like everything in this room is sweating
Would you have sex with a guy wearing a Batman mask?
It's all hypothetical, I don't have a Batman mask... yet...
Bad behavior is like a petri dish that grows organically In my heart
Omg. I felt like a crazed animal last night. My lesbian instincts burned a hole in my panties.
I brought a guy home then decided no. Took him back to the bar and said "I'm going to drop you where I found you. Have fun"
Btw he dated my mom. You're Eskimo siblings with my mom. Good job.
You can't have your cake and publicly stick your dick in it too
He added me on LinkedIn while I was baking weed brownies in the boxers he left here... Is this adulthood?
Every time we have sex, I feel his dick ramming my soul into submission. Problem is..... I LIKE THAT SHIT!
I'm going to smell of sex and shame.
How is that different than any other Monday night?
If i'm not ready, make sure i'm alive. Not passed out dead in the shower.
I'll still do breakfast to celebrate the life you've had.
Randomize
