she has no idea who harrison ford is.
see that's why i'd never date someone born in the 90s
best googles of the semester: toe fucking, purpose of two nostrils, human tail. with pictures
When you're on the hood of a car, 10 mph feels pretty fucking fast.
You stuck your head out the window to puke and got hit with a mailbox.
No amount of marijuana is enough to justify blood on my ceiling
She showed up to the party with a live octopus and a 30 pack that was already half gone
My vagina supports interfraternal relations
Speaking of testosterone. I saw a girl with a moustache thicker than one I can grow last night...
C'mon pople!!! THursday afternoon isnot gonna drinkin itself!!!
It was literally 8 o'clock in the morning. His horniness knows no bounds.
your life is going to be an empowering working mom montage tomorrow to Katy P's ROAR... --are you living in a yoplaít comercial?
Did I just hear you ask Siri about the meaning of life?
Yeah, I'm just gonna try to repress that and remember him for his big dick and perfect jawline.
I remember telling you that I think Taylor Swift has stolen my essence. I still think that's true.
I don't know if the fact that I carry lube in my purse means I'm living life right or I'm doing it wrong..
Randomize
