I just Googled "how to lose weight but still be an alcoholic."
If I was on drugs, this would be amazing
dude i need to stop getting high. i cant afford to eat like this...
He cut you off when you said Paula Dean was in your soul...He kicked you out when "Paula" started eating random peoples food
he told me he's been faithful to his girlfriend and is gonna try to stay that way. challenge accepted.
I'm still trying to figure out how you came back with chinese food, and a spoon covered in icing saying 'cake..'
He kept insisting that I was going to have an orgasm but it just felt like he was rubbing sand paper on my vagina
He graduated with honors. I've seen him kneeboard on dry ground and run a razor scooter into a wall...anyone can graduate with honors
We now know how the night ended in arrest according to the flip camera I did 10 handle pulls and beer bonged a 40. My life choices are getting worse and worse this is your fault.
Also I've decided that I'm buying the next friend of mine who is dumb enough to get married a live porcupine as a wedding present.
as much as I don't like snorting drugs, I would totally be fine with someone doing a line off my ass. that's just a whole new up
Well. Now I feel like I put pants on for nothing.
How does it feel to date your dad?
Her new crush is a 6'2" guacamole baron that may also be a Jedi.
With my son watching me, I pulled down my pants and shit in her trash can.
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