i feel like i'm waiting in line to date brett michaels
tell your sister to shave her snatch
He is like the real live version of the state fair..
Angelique from Rock of Love is now doing phone sex commercials for central illinois....id say she's going places.
no really all good couples have similar hair colors!
history professor just told us he has magic fingers. i'm going for it.
no seriously. she's even got the premier of the real L word on her calendar at work. that lesbian.
Why hello there Olivia! How are you today on this fine and most wonderful morning full of magic and adventure and awesomeness?
Someone just got laid.
My prof gave me extra credit for drawing a ninja on my paper and writing "ninja will up my grade"
Just fucking put out. It'll be a good lay, promise. Stop being a prude. Damn it. A boy is trying to put his penis in you. APPRECIATE IT.
He initiated the conversation by sending me a picture of his penis at 4 am
Dinner was cheetos vodka and whiskey. This is what happens when even your booty call breaks up with you.
Weddings might be fun but they are not getting fucked in the wilderness fun.
Fun fact: nipples work on touch screens. Tell your friends :)
The cop was standing next to me when I texted "haha" to your phone...didn't realize that he had taken it already...
Randomize