You drink too much
No, I drink just the right amount - too often.
My therapist said that she thinks i may have a sex addiction. I think she may be a terrible therapist.
Want me to drive you to Dr. Drew's sex rehab?
Nah, cause then i cant masturbate to that show anymore.
yeah, but i heard shes schizophrenic
i wouldn't even care dude, i'd fuck her and all 7 of her personalities.
Who would win... a chainsaw pooping pterodactyl or a bear with machine guns for feet. big debate about this right now
Oh btw, that was a wonderful blow job. You did a good job.
All three women i have fucked in the past week are here in the same bar. Gameface, go.
Gonna go for any of them?
Thursday night girl, but friday is watching and tuesday is serving us.
I'll do a soapy photo shoot for you in the shower. No loofas, though. Once you get one of those caught in your nipple ring, you never go back.
She kept telling people I wrecked her brain. That high.
MAYDAY. glass in foot, have crush on guy with mullet.life is over.
So I just stole my deans keys to break into the dining hall to get coco puffs. I shouldn't have gone to this meeting stoned.
Haha its fine we ask know it. He's still cool thought
Focus on the keyboard man. Focusssss
After closing we did it on every flat surface in the bar. Best use a coaster if you're coming to happy hour today.
New discovery: your vibrator works on my balls. Technology is wonderful I love the future
So I've already made 5 bad decisions today, wyd?
It's very disconcerting to wake up and she is gone. I never know where she could be. It's like playing wheres Waldo but Waldo could potentially be drunk and wandering around in weird places that normal Waldo's don't go.
Randomize
