What do they do with the elephants that die at the zoo
Cremation, why do you ask?
I think we have a bit of a problem
We better get laid next semester cause I prayed hard
I even walked 30 feet with my eyes closed from two love rocks so that we get some cock
turns out gay frats are just like normal frats, only with more v-necks
so i have my big date this weekend, and i was practicing giving head with a bottle in the shower. i stopped and looked at the botton of the bottle. it was PURE MOLD! if i die, dont tell the doctors how this happened....
Your "OraGel will numb anything" theory was the worst thing I ever believed in.
Im in mikes bed telling my vagina I'm sorry in advance.
How exactly do I approach the whole "Well that was fun. Am I purchasing the Plan B or you?" topic?
He bought a sex swing! He's building the playground of my dreams!!!!
I just found a piece of squished oatmeal cream pie in my armpit. So very sad.
I'm missing my left shoe, and there's a note on my foot (in my handwriting) that says "HAHA BITCH" Any explanation for this?
With a butt like mine I'll never have to pay for Netflix again.
Guess who just hooked up with a guy who was wearing a shirt from his mom's "dress up closet"?!
I'm with the cops, Trish's gay husband stabbed himself and is framing her for attempt of murder and I'm dressed 4 the club I'm wearing leather pants leather jacket leather boots and black club top. Embarrassed
I have to touch the horse lube. :-(
the bastard is cheating on me with some sleazy barista from Starbucks
That’s his wife they’re back together
You say potato, I say sleazy barista
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