Having your wife answer your cell was so lame. Maybe we can talk when you get your phone, your facebook account, and your balls back.
did he really ask u insert a warm banna in ur anal?
It's either jizz or frosting, and either way, someone's being held accountable.
She Kept going around and squirting jello shots into guys mouths. That was her ice breaker.
Vaginas creep me out. I'm disgusted by the look of them. I wonder if this is what having an ugly baby is like: you have to take care of it and love it but it just hurts you on the inside to look at it.
You should have hard cock pics on hand to send in the situation that you can't stop driving, pull out your cock, browse the countless pics I've sent you of my tits, get him hard and text a pic through. I mean, it's simple sexting ettiquette.
I feel like I grabbed someones dick last night, & if I didn't I'll be disappointed in myself
Her vagina was like a painting you can put your face in.
Also, sorry about chilling in just the towel last night. You know I have ADD and somehow even after looking at you, I forgot I'm not the only person living there right now
I sewed up my pants, stole his girlfriends white shirt, and went to work hungover like a responsible adult.
The night before doing drugs with your bro is like Christmas Eve that made love to thanksgiving that made love a virgin.
we're drinking bellinis i mean god's titty nectar
I am drinking fireball and apple juice out of a sippy cup like a fucking toddler.
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone’s dad. You’re also like a second dad to me as well. And one who I send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
His mom knocked on the door during morning sex because we were being too loud...now i have to meet her for the first time
Randomize
