that john and kate plus 8 dude has ruined asians for me
96 perecent sure i just took a shower with socks
Girls only wine night turned into a sloppy drunk lesbian orgy again
I woke up with fried rice in my sweatshirt pocket came downstairs and found all the chicken in the fridge gone. I'm THAT roommate aren't I?
Dude they have ski ball. Anywhere that has skiball is bound to be bangin.
He was probably pissed, but i couldn't tell for sure. How pissed can someone really look while holding a fishbowl mimosa?
I feel like I have streams of color and coldness wrapping around my body.
speaking of graduation plans, i'm blacked out eating sausage
Remember my theory about how the universe perfectly unfolds to fuck me? Well, it's at work right now
there COULD be a gas leak in our house... proceeding to smoke with extreme caution...
Call me something sexy & ethnic. Like jasmine. But mystical too. Like Mermaid Jasmine. And throw Glitter somewhere in there too.
we had a "who's sex playlist is better?" fight.....
I JUST HAD TO SNORT THE REST OF MY BAG OF COKE BECAUSE THE BAG RIPPED IN THE WORK BATHROOM.
I'm guessing you feel amazing due to all the caps?
LETS GET THIS SHIT DONE. IM GONNA GET THIS SHIT DONE, FOREVER.
Listen. The next time my first idea in the morning is "hometown buffet and a water bottle full of captain morgan", please make me go back to sleep.
We are so disgustingly codependent and I wouldn't have it any other way
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