Ooooh. That's not a mole. Uncomfortable.
i spent my evening searching "the sims having sex" on youtube
we're no longer friends
There are traffic cones in the living room. One of them is yours.
u know what's depressing? a picture of an owl without a graduation cap
i took an adderall last night to write a paper. i ended up watching 7 hours of roseanne and couldn't look away
I need to figure out what I wanna do with my life.
There are margaritas in the freezer still.
nothing like baby laughter to ruin a masturbation moment
I'll have my TA grade the tests, she needs something to do anyway. Wanna race to the bar on segways?
Please never let me the drunk fat dancer in the bus girl
Handcuffs are allowed in carry on luggage :) just checked
I think he knows I took a picture of him. Why I don't get punched in the face more often is anyone's guess.
Pretty sure this ice cream truck is following me.
New holiday tradition. Eat all the Xanax in the am, then wake up later after festivities and eat all the leftovers
How was jagerbomb pong?
It was like communism. Great in theory. Terrible when put into practice
I swear to God...this day is one great big who's who in the land of fucked uppedness.
Randomize
