Dude, she had a vegina. I felt like Indiana Jones cutting a path through the jungle.
Totally saw a hot amputee. I think this is called character growth.
i spent my evening searching "the sims having sex" on youtube
we're no longer friends
Am I the only person who thinks Megan Fox looks totally like a Thai lady boy with a serious tanning bed fix?
she was like a sexier Rosie O'Donnel
I love how you are more concerned with what i call my penis than the fact i wanna bone some high school chicks
I think he finally resigned to the fact he could not get off. He just looked at me and said "I'm having testicle difficulties," rolled over and passed out.
That is correct. I did in fact somehow pass out in the tanning booth for over an hour. And yes the attendant did have to open it up and shake me awake.
Yeah dude. Pulled out the couch and a bird flew at me. Please tell me who put a bird in my house.
Update... last night a man tried to bite my ear. I think he swallowed my pearl earring.
adding to the list of how to lure in freshman boys: take dogs for a walk, yell at them from across the street, sit on the curb at 3 in the morning sobbing
Question: trumpet bong. Can it work.
The dog just shocked himself by peeing on Christmas lights, should I have saw that coming?
So apparently it wasn't anything really bad, it's hemorrhoids. Which is the medical word for butthurt. I actually have ass ointment.
Ugh it's 2016, why can't our bodies just shed fat on their own
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